It feels so good to be home! Im glad to see my mom and my friends. Last night was amazing and I had so much fun...too much fun because we actually did nothing but sit in my terrace and talk about NOTHING. I mean it was a month since we hung out so it was a great just to talk. Nothing makes me happier then just to hang out and talk.
Im in my happy place.! :D
Yo, it's so hard finding love. Alright, this kid is kinda flirting with me and I don't understand if it's real or if it's an act and he's just superfical. I can't decide, maybe he is intreasted? Maybe he thinks he's intreasted, but what if he really doesn't like me? What am I to say? I know that I can't get my hopes up because I don't want to be let down and hurt. He's not that attractive, but looks aren't everything I know that. Maybe I should realize that high school and love is hard to find, let alone the right guy to love.
Sometimes I wonder, why am I gay? I know I am gay, no doubt but what makes me so different that I turned out gay? Is it how you're born? Or how you're raised, some people say that it's who you are from birth and others say you become gay...well if that were true. Wouldn't parents try and make sure their children aren't gay? If I ever adopt children, I hope they aren't gay because it's the hardest thing to be in middle and high school and be gay.
This kid that i'm talking to, is bisexual. I personally don't beleive in bisexuality because you can't be both. It's like being a magnet that connects to both ends and that doesn't happen....ever. Maybe I'm the one whose wrong though, and maybe bisexual is possible. I'm not physically attracted to Alex, and it doesn't help that he's bisexual. But maybe he can help me see that they do exist and it's not just a phase of coming out.
Wow, suck it. I love you and your family but you have a whirlwind of a personality. I wish my sister could see that i'm only trying to help her.
In recent events my sister and I grew extremely close and she opened up to me about certain things about her. Some of those things scared me and made me worry about her and I wish that she had never told me. I went to my mother BECAUSE I WAS SCARED FOR HER And I know she wanted me to keep those things a secret, but I feel that I did the right thing.
My sister took those things in such a wrong way, she took it as I was trying to hurt her, and throw shit in her face. I wanted to help her and our MOTHER is someone that I can always go to, and I thought that even though my mom has strong opinions she will always try and help us. I've had my troubles with my mother too, but my sister doesn't realize that she needs to grow up. And that my mom's firmness with her is because she is 27 and hasn't grown up. She's not as tough with me because i'm only 16, and I live at home. She still has control over my life, not my sisters. I wish she would see that, it's so hard for her to see that.
My mother feels that my sister doesn't appreciate everything she gets from her, and it's hard for me to see that too. Because everytime my mom comes around to my sister. My sister has at least one moment of fierce annoying attitude and I hate that because my mother pays $200 of her house, and her father does shit. But, everytime he comes around; he is treated like a god and me and my sister are treated like outcasts. I hate that, she doesn't realize that she's pushing me away and one day she is going to need me.
What's worse, is that i'm going to need her and not have her.